Second Thursday..

Thursday, June 16th, 2011:


Just like the yesterday..
Waking up later than usual, going to lab, working on the project I started yesterday..
Working on that document took forever, all afternoon yesterday, all morning today, and part of the afternoon..

What I worked on yesterday afternoon and today is going to be sent from our department to a pharmaceutical company..

I was proud to finish it actually and make it make sense to anyone who reads it, especially since I had to communicate with more than one department to get all the information I needed to get it done..

Now this research study is done to find the effectiveness of a drug in treating or stopping the progression of Alzheimer's or Mild Cognitive Impairment..

The rest of the afternoon however, I had nothing to work on..
I wanted to do something because I cannot not do nothing..
There was nothing for me though!
So what I did is I started reading about the brain, then about an article about a program we use to analyze brain images..
Also, I started looking for internship for me for next summer (I know, it is too early, but I could not resist!)
In addition, I started looking at other schools besides OSU since I do not think that I am going to get in..
Between the different universities I looked at, I really like University of Washington..
They have a really good program for Public Health, and I really like their Public Health clinical research epidemiology program..
They also have a post-bachelor in their global health center program that I am thinking about applying for..
I am definitely going there, if not for my master's degree, maybe for my PhD; they have all the specialties I am interested in, and according to my friend, it is located in a nice part of Seattle..
I am also considering visiting it sometime this year..

The last hour of the day, I was going to work on a different project, but when I was going to be introduced to the project, me and all of my lab partners were talking about the public transportation issue in Phoenix..
Everyone complains about it, and about how bad it is, including me..
It needs to be changed, especially the slow-er light rail they have..
We were talking about my trip to Sun City, which is going to take me two hours, but the way to there is supposed to be only half an hour or less..
It was interesting conversation for sure..

The end of the day, I went home, and right away to the office..
I paid (not really me) way too much for the apartment than I should..
It was more than double of what my roommate paid, which I did not know about before last night..
It turned out that I paid for many things that I am not responsible for..
Now, I will be ok because no rent is going to be paid for next month, so I do not have to worry about paying anything for the apartment..
On the other hand, now I have to talk the person who was living here before us, and to my second roommate since I paid all of their pills from May!

The rest of night was just like usual, facebook, reading, eating dinner, and going to be late..
Nothing too exciting!

Second Wednesday, Finally..

Wednesday, June 15th, 2011:

I just realized that my posts come up as written by from far away..

I do not think I like that, but I am leaving it as it is anyway..

From far away is still me!

I did not wake up today till half an hour before I was suppose to leave..
Quick getting ready, and left the house..
That is when I realized it is the second Wednesday for me in Arizona, finally one week passed by..
I would not say it went by really fast, but it was kind of quick..
I feel like I am still settling, but there is still time, but by the time my mind get set, it will be time to go home..

Thinking about that, made me think about when I went to Germany..
It took three or four days to get used to the idea..
It took me a week to get used to the place..
Of course, I continued to learn everyday, but I was fine quicker than here..

When I came to the US, it was hard, and I struggled a lot, but I was better than now..
There is something missing, or different about this trip, and I cannot figure it out yet..
Am I homesick? But to where? Both Oregon and Saudi? Or none?
Is it because of the lack of social time with people?
Possibly both, one of them, or neither..
I will let this to the days to show me..
It is just something I was expecting the least from me..

Besides that, today I got an email from the main research center to get my alternate orientation..
I started working on a project in the morning, and when I finished I worked on another project on the afternoon..
The morning project was to convert MRI pictures from their original form to 2-D pictures that we usually see when we see x-rays pictures..
That was done using Matlab and linux programming..
The project on the afternoon; I worked on compiling data for one research study and organizing them in one place, creating what is similar to database..
I did not finish before the end of the day, but I enjoyed working on it..

As we went home, I was really tired, so I decided to take a nap, and put everything behind my back..
I went to sleep right away..
Thinking that I am going to sleep for only one or two hours..
It ended up being four hours!
And as soon as I woke up, I started talking to my roommate, and that is what I did for two hours..
I like talking to her about many things..
We talked about marriage, rules, and parents' expectations..
I learned that the legal marriage age in India is 18 for girls and 21 for guys..
It happens a lot illegally though..

I was still tired, so it made sense to go to sleep..
I did not..
I was reading till 3:30 am, and before going to sleep finally!
To get ready for another day in Arizona..

Different Day

Tuesday, June 14th, 2011:

When I woke up today, I was scared, confused, and was not thinking straight..
Something was weird in my dream..
I woke four hours after I went to bed, and could not fall back to sleep..
I hate the days that start like that, they are never pleasant..

I was just wandering around the house..
I was looking forward to going to work..
I talked to my family, and did laundry..
I felt like I want to go somewhere faraway and think loudly..
I cannot do that having a shared room, and shared apartment..

I went to work the same time as usual..
I was happy to be there..
Today's lecture was about searching data bases, and different techniques for searching in them..
After that, I finished working on my clinical trial research small project right after lunch, which I did not want to go to because I was focused on my job..
Then, I started on another project for clinical trails..
I got done fast, and I was not assigned anything more to do..
Instead I just started reading research articles on brain imaging..
I have to think about my final presentation from now!

In the middle of working on the second project, we had a tour..
The tour was to the PET center..
We got the chance to talk to radiologist about their job, what they do, and how they do it..
It was really cool to see all the different sub-sections in the unit, and learn about the procedures when they have someone for a clinical research..
That specific department we visited had two CT/MRI machines: one is for cancer screening, and the other one is for Alzheimer's research..
The pictures that come from the machines makes no sense, and has no meaning..
They only show waves and dots..
Then they get converted to show the image of the part of the body..
It was so cool to see physics in action here..
Also I learned that for most clinical trials, most patients have to stay in the MRI machines between 1.5-2 hours without moving or talking..
I think that will be really hard; I cannot even imaging myself doing nothing, required to think about nothing, keep my eyes open, not fall to sleep, and not talk for two hours..
It is a long time, and I admire the people who choose to participate in clinical research, especially if it is not pertaining to them..

At the end of the day, I realized the big broad range of interest I have..
But I also realized that there is no way I can do everything I want to do..
There is too much, and I should try to minimize my main interest and focus on it..
The rest will come later..
Life is too short, I cannot leave it without being focused and committed to one or two things only between the things that interest me or I like..
That was a valuable lesson to learn..

At the end of the day, I just went home to do nothing again..
I talked to my brother, read something, facebook, eating, and again the inability to sleep early..
Talking about not sleeping early, I think the thing about sleeping early and waking up early, and never sleeping when there sun outside, exist only in Corvallis for me..
That in itself makes me miss Corvallis so much..

Decision is Made

Monday, June 13th, 2011

It is Monday; I was excited to start the week..
I wanted to start working..
I did not have a decision by the morning, but I did not have to since I am going to listen to the lab's director first in his presentation today..
The first hour, I did not have anything really to do..
Then it was the presentation time..
I got the chance to learn about brain imaging and research on brain imaging..
I also learned little bit about clinical trials that use brain imaging..
It was an interesting, informative presentation..
However, he talked about the concept of false memory, and put me away..
It took my mind, and made me confused..
I wonder if I ever have any false memories, and take them into real life..
One of the research articles I had to read, as a case study, was about a girl who said her father abused her as a child..
She went to court, but then it turned out her claims were false memories..
The other article I read was something similar to that..
On the other hand, I did read better articles, where the opposite happened..

Brain sciences are amazing, but might not be that good in the future..
I can see machines fixed on our heads in interviews just so they can know if someone is lying or not..
I am not sure where studying the brain activity is going to take us..
I guess we will see in about 20 years..

After reading the articles, and after lunch time, I decided to be myself, who works too much in a short time, so I asked for a task even though I still did not decide what I wanted to do..
I ended up doing something similar to what I wanted to do initially..
Clinical trails research, where I got to read about the protocol of most of them, till I got tired, organized them, and putting data together..

The director of the lab asked me if I decided, and I had not by that time, so I told him that I will let him know by the end of the day..
Half an hour before the end of the day, I decided..
I am going to do both, clinical imaging research, and clinical trail research..
I am going to do 4 days of clinical imaging just because there is SO much to learn and grow from, and one day with clinical trial because I think there is not that much to learn..
In addition to that, I am going to spend 8 hours every week with the clinical trails; that is if they accept me..
Of course, I have to write a letter, which I did later after I came home..

On the way back from work, I realized that I never put any pictures of my work space..
So I decided to take pictures, and post them here :)

The rest of the day was boring routine: dinner, talking to my friend Brittney, some work, and sleep late at night!

Pictures

Exploring Downtown Phoenix

Sunday, June 12th, 2011:

"People are of two kinds: either your brothers in faith or your equals in humanity"-- Imam Ali (a.s.)

This saying is a close saying to me..
Whenever I see myself about to judge people, I remember it..
I think I am good at remembering it, but I am not sure how I am doing, unintentionally, to people..

The reason I am writing about that is the situations I have been coming across: people not looking at me as another human being who has different believes than them..
I used to not think about it, and expected it when I first moved to the US..
Whenever I face it, I just say they just do not know me, and it is only some people..
The only thing I will do, which is what I see to be the right thing to do, is educate them, and educate the community more..
I tried to do as much education, participate in programs, and support any ideas for educational program..

However, that does not seem to be helping the issue..

I feel obligated to do something that will change the way people look at me, at us, or how they treat their equals..

My dreams are big, and I know some of them are impossible, but it keeps hope lit in my heart..

It gives energy, and lead me to do what I believe in..

For now, I will continue hoping, and doing what I do because learning does not have to come from classes or educational programs only, but by leaving something behind..

In Arizona, just a few days after being here, I was welcomed by being called a terrorist, asked to leave, and what I am planning to do..

It reminded me of my last day in Corvallis, when a group of guys told me to go back where I came from because they are "sick of seeing me"..

I am not sure what they mean by any of what they say, but I know they do not know me..

I just wish them the best, and hope that one day they will know what I do or who I am, by me I mean anyone they would say that to..

Away from the sad part of my day, which I did not know how to deal with..

I just talked to my family for a long time today..

Then I went to downtown Phoenix today..

I finally got my pass to the public transportation, and went there right after getting it..

I went with my roommate, and saw only some of the downtown..

We went around part of Arizona State University..

ASU had news thing that show their students accomplishments, and the one thing stayed in my mind is that there is a student who got 39 awards this year (I do not know how anyone can forget that)..

Then we went to Arizona Center, which I really like..

We ate dinner there, then we went back home, and that marks the end of my day, and a long night a head to go to bed late again..

I will let the pictures talk here

In the way to downtown

Arizona State University- Phoenix branch

I like this one

This was my favorite thing I saw that day

Arizona Center

Dinner

Exploring The Area

Saturday, June 11th, 2011

Today was a day with nothing..
I did not want to do anything..
I was not feeling the greatest when I woke up..
I hate headaches and bad mood; they keep coming to my life tough..

After I woke and was ready to eat breakfast, I went to prepare it in the kitchen..
The second bedroom door opened and closed..
It was ok, I did not really care or even looked to see who it was..
Who would it be beside our roommate!
She came out just a few minutes after that..
She told me that her boyfriend comes every weekend and stay in the apartment..
She also told me that she was not sure if he saw me or not..
That was it for me; that changed my mood for the rest of the day..
Not because her boyfriend did see me (that is why she came and talked to me)..
But because every weekend I have to choose between being stuck in my room, wearing my scarf the whole time, or just leaving the house..
I am not planning on staying in the house for that much time in the weekend..
But still, I was not prepared for that..

I almost did nothing today..
Watched OSU's graduation, and saw my friends graduating (that was the best part of the day)..
Talked to my family on Skype..
Organized my room finally..
It was driving me crazy..
And I went around to explore with my roommate..

We went walking so I can get the pass for public transportation, which did not work..
Then we just went around the area for about four hours..
Nothing specific, we just went around..

On the way back to our apartment, we talked about the education systems..
Education system in the US, in India, and in Saudi Arabia..
I have to say, India's school system is pretty hard..
They have two years of elementary school (= pre-school and kindergarten), 5 years of primary school, and finally 5 years of secondary school..
After that, they have 2 years of college or junior college..
Than they go to the university for their undergraduate, but to get in a good university, they have to do really well in junior college..

When we came back, I did not do that much..
I ate dinner, which we got from Burger King, which has vegetarian burgers; something I did not know about before..
We also watched Kung Fu Panda movie, which I like..
I will suggest everyone watching it..
Then it was laundry time and doing nothing..

I think I was really immersed in my thoughts because I was not doing anything, but finally going to sleep at 2 am..

That would not have happened if the future was not a mystery, and I did not have to write a paper about my life including the past and the future to how I die for one of my classes..

Friendly suggestion: if you are ever going to Phoenix, do not go at night if you do not know the area.. I have seen gun shops really close by where I was walking..

Pictures

View from our apartment and just outside of the complex

 My corner in my room, this is the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning

They are some of the closest gifts to my heart..

Mayo Clinic Visit

Everyone who works, go to school, or do something all week long, and have saturdays and sundays off, looks forward to Friday..

It is the last day of the week..

Today is the conference day, where we get to go to Mayo Clinic, Arizona campus, to the Arizona Alzheimer's Consortium Annual Scientific Conference..

I am finally going to visit Mayo Clinic, the place I always wanted to visit, and never knew there is a nice campus of it in Arizona..

Mayo Clinic has existed for more than 100 years..

We left the house later today, so I did not wake up till way later than usual; it was 8:30 am when I woke up..

Left the house at around 9:00 am..

I was like a little child, too excited that I was looking at everything around me..

When we arrived, the architecture amazed me, they are really cool..

We were there at around 9:40 am or so.. They had breakfast, and they already had most of the posters set-up..

I met some of the students who were intern at the Banner Sun Health Research Institute, which I was placed to do my research at, but did not due to the lack of available housing for younger people in Sun City..

Apparently, most of the students there started on their projects, where for us, students at Banner Alzheimer's Institute did not.. We were developing skills, and exploring the different options instead..

Back to the conference..

I checked in, got my name tag, in which my last name was spelled wrong, but I was fine with it..

In addition to that I got the list abstracts, and the schedule of the conference..

The schedule was:

• Welcoming by Dr. Caselli from Mayo Clinic
• Introduction by Dr. Reiman the director of Arizona Alzheimer's Consortium and CEO of Banner Research Institute
• Keynote speaker: Dr. Klunk from the Alzheimer's Disease Research Center at University of Pittsburgh 
• Lunch time with VERY short time to look at the poster presentation (one hour total)
• Oral research presentation (9 of them)
• Finally, closing by Dr. Reiman

I really like the keynote speaker, he was really good, but his presentation had a lot of information. I learned a lot from it, but if there is anything I am going to tell the people about it, it will be that he and his lab partner discovered the PiB compound in 2004 (PiB= Pittsburgh Compound B), which could be used in PET scans instead of fluorescent to see plaques in the brain, so it is used for studies investigating Alzheimer's Disease.

For posters, there were about 100 of them, and there was no way I could have seen all of them. I think I only saw about 20 of them.

At the end of the conference, I tried to look at the rest of the posters, but they were gone. I still tried to stay for as long as possible in Mayo Clinic, so we did not leave till about 4 pm..

On the way back home, we talked about many things, about Arizona, politics, history, and social justice. I realized that I am interested in those topics, so it might be time for me to read more about them. I also realized how quiet I am. I thought I changed, but I did not, I am still the quiet person who listens and act instead of talk. I am not sure if that is a good thing or not, but I think happy with it for now even if it puts me in situations where I cannot say anything in..

Sad story about the conference:

There was a girl who is interested in research, and wanted to do research related to aging. She was in her last year, and was going to go to grad school to continue on with her research. She was influential and dedicated person. They had three posters about research she worked on. In March, she was diagnosed with cancer, so she did not take her finals, and then she died recently. They dedicated the conference for her. I found this story about her graduation, which was brought to her in the hospital: http://www.abc15.com/dpp/news/region_southeast_valley/mesa/asu-grad-gets-personal-diploma-ceremony-

The rest of the day was like follow: going to the bus station to get public transportation pass, which I failed at because the bus station closes at 4 pm, so I ended up just taking some pictures of my neighborhood. Then I talked to my friend Jennifer, and did some reading. Then it was just time to think and try to sleep.

Pictures

I realized that I have not put any pictures yet, so here are some of the pictures I took

New Day

Thursday, June 9th:

Today, my roommate had to wake me up..
I was so late in waking up, I think I only woke up at 8 am, and we leave the house at 8:30 am..
I made it, I finished on time, without eating breakfast..
And went to work..
I was suppose to work, but I did not for the first one hours..
I had work to finish..
Then we had on of the daily lectures, and it covered brain anatomy and areas affected in Alzheimer's disease patients..
It was an easy lecture for me; just learning about some of the brain part since I took anatomy, and the brain and the nervous system were the parts I liked the most..
The lecturer brought three books with them..
One of them is so cool, that I just wanted to take home with me, and I am going to buy it as soon as I can..
It is an amazing book that is not made for scientists only..
If you are interested see: http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0756654416/ref=dp_olp_new?ie=UTF8&condition=new
Then I went back to work, not lab work, but personal work..
I was done right during lunch time..
During lunch, I was talking more today to people..
I learned that there is farmer's market, indoor one, but only Winter season when there are many people selling fruits and other stuff. In the summer, it is a "standard" indoor farmer's market..
That is the opposite of Corvallis, where in Winter we have an indoor one that does not have anything, and in summer we have the real Saturday farmer's market that I like, and everyone likes..
I cannot wait to go back to Corvallis, walk around the farmer's market, stop by Great Harvest, and get a free piece of bread with honey..
Also, during lunch we talked about the Northwest weather, and other stuff..
My lunch was corn chowder soup, and ravioli with mariana souse and vegetables..
After lunch, I went back to the lab, but before I went back to work, I was talking to the team that works for the lab (minus the intern)..
I am not sure if I made a mistake or not, but I just said that I sad and disappointed because I am not going to be working on what I really said I want to be working on..
I understand it was not what I initially was going to do, but still, I could do something else that is closer to what I wanted to do..
They said they will figure something out for me..
I went back to work, and I started working on matlab, which is a great programming program..
I did not of course learn everything in it, but learned the basics..
Matlab: http://www.mathworks.com/products/matlab/
At around 3:00 pm, I found out that we were going to leave half an hour early..
By that time, I was almost done with matlab, and my brain was tired from its information..
So I looked at if there is anything I missed comparing to the other students..
The topics I missed were:
1) Linux Basics
2) Matlab
3) Statistics
Which meant that I need to cover statistics before the end of the day, too..
I requested the slides, which I got in less than 10 minutes..
And when I was taking a break from Matlab, I work on stat, which was just a review for me..
As the day came closer to an end, the lab director came up to me and asked if he can talk to me for a minute..
I went and I talked to him, and he was just asking me what I want to do, and what I need to do if I want to change my research project from computational imaging to clinical research..
The issue is that he was trying to get me interested in it, and I feel it is a waste of time if I know that I am not as interested in it..
He told me that research process is always boring, but I really like the process of my diabetes research and it is the longest research project I worked on; I never got tired from it, or from entering the data..
Still, maybe what he said is true, and research process is boring; I guess I will find out..
I am just trying to get as much as I can, and I want to look at more than one factor at a time..
I will think about it, and I need to give him a decision by Monday because that is when I told him I am going to have a decision..
One of the Post Doc girls in the lab told me I should make a decision fast, wait for the conference which is happening tomorrow because I will see information about all kind in research, and see which ones I liked the most. I decided to follow her advice when I said my decision will be made by Monday..
The end of the day came, and we left the lab..
Instead of going home, we went to Safeway to finally get the things I need..
If you ever travel outside of Oregon, and you use food stamp, you can use them anywhere..
I was able to use them in Arizona's safeway!
When I went home, it was more of organization evening, reading, and writing..
Nothing else was done..
I finished by midnight, to go to sleep by 12:30 am..
The earliest in over one week of going to bed late..

Beginning of A New Chapter

Tuesday, June 7th and Wednesday, June 8th:

Tuesday was a long day, just like any other day before traveling..
It started early, so early..
Started with work, meetings, meeting some of my closest friends, and ended with work..
However, then packing started, saying goodbyes to my closest people, and heading out of Corvallis..
Out for almost two months..
Except for a stop I made by my friend's house..
Then left..
I expressed sadness, which I do not usually do..
I did not want to leave friends and home..
I wanted to be there, but it is for a better cause..
Head to Portland, for the night, so I am not as stressed out as if I stayed home and had to leave early..
Little adventure trip to Portland, with my closest friend, Elizabeth, who I am thankful for her being with me, and supporting me..
Our last stop finally was at an old friend's place to spend the night with her..
But on the way, I finally was able to see OHSU campus for the first time..
I have not seen her in almost two years; I was excited to see her, and for the timing to be perfect for both of us..
Crystal, you were a great host, and it was great to see you, even if it is for a few hours only..

Next Day:


Next day started at 4:30 am
The flight was at 6:40 am
Being in Portland, mad things easy for us; we did not have to wake up so early or worry about being in the airport on time..
Left at around 5:00 am, and head to the airport..
Checked in, and went through security so quickly (which I will suggest everyone to fly with Alaska if they want that)..
Same standard thing as every time in the airport, nothing different..
Except I said I do not like the side of the airport that I was flying from..
I learned afterward to never say that ever again..
It was great side of the airport; there were many places, and art on the walls..
I really liked the art, which they have up till October only..
I made another mistake after that, I called my to-be-rommate at that time at 6:15 am..
I did not know Arizona shared the same time zone with Oregon in the summer..
As soon as I was in the airplane, it was time for me to go back to sleep..
I did not wake up till I was in AZ, which we arrived to earlier than scheduled..
Left the airport as fast as I can because I wanted to head to the lab and start working..
That did not really happened..
I took a taxi. thankfully the driver was Muslim, who has not been in Arizona for that long, so I was able to ask about his experience getting around and used to the place, and if there is any places I could eat or go to so I can be close to a familiar community..
Arizona turned out to be more expensive than Oregon! I expected that, but I saw it when I came to it..
Stopped by my house, talked to the office, took my keys, and that is when I learned that Oregon and Arizona have the same time zone..
I felt so bad for calling my new roommate so early in the morning..
Went to the apartment, did not have internet, so I could not found more information about the public transportation and if I can get to work using them..
I tried to get the information from my phone, but I fell to sleep trying to do that, which told me that I was really tired..
My roommate called me because she was concern about me not being in the lab yet..
I called a taxi and head to work, which is amazingly so close to where I live..
I am going to try walking to it very soon..
Although, I went to the wrong building..
I went to the clinic, called my roommate, and then then someone from the office came and took me to the lab building using their shuttle..
Introduced to many people, saw the offices and where they are, then it was time for lunch..
I did not know anyone, so I was just eating quietly between the group who were talking about many things..
Lunch time lasted more than an hour..
And when get a sandwich, you get done in less than an hour..
It was good anyway, and a chance for me to know everyone..
After lunch, finally started working..
started learning, and working on Linux operating system..
It is hard, but I got it, I think..
I was so sleepy too, and trying to catch up with everything the student did when they came before me..
I just gave up at around 4:15 pm, and just waited to leave the place..
Stephanie, the research assistant at the center, offered to give me and my roommate a ride everyday at the end of the day..
Getting back home was the best..
I met my second roommate..
I took a nap on the floor that my shoulder was hurting me afterwards..
Then we went exploring, hoping that there is a grocery shopping place close to us..
There was not, we ended up stopping by circle-K, which was more expensive than safeway, and got nothing, just walked back home..
Ate dinner with my roommate to discover that we both are vegetarian, we both like the same type of food, and we do not eat the exact same things due to a religious reason.. Except I can eat most of the things if they are Halal, and she does not..
It is amazing, we have similar way of thinking, and we both value our backgrounds and cultures..
The dinner was vegetable and tortilla, which my roommate made; it was really good..
As soon as I was done with dinner, my friend's sister came..
She brought me all the things I needed, and I did not want to buy/bring from Oregon..
I am just grateful for what she did; she drove around 45 minutes just to bring me some stuff..
It was so nice too to meet someone who knows someone I know..
To be precise, the closest friend ever to me..
Then it was just time for getting everything in its place, work little bit on some stuff I needed to get done..
Finally it is almost 1:00 am, and it is way passed my bed time..
So Goodnight world!